Part 27: Voila! Bonjour! Merci beaucoup!

Are you guys ready to be done with Canada? Me too. Let's finish this shit up.



This cave is the only place we couldn't do anything in before. We could enter it at any time, but there's a rock wall blocking our progress.



The fart tutorials really could have been improved. There was no need to show you how to Dragonshout four different times, only to show the real tutorial later.



The Nagasaki fart works similarly to how the tutorials have been training us. Similarly being the operative word. For instance, you press down and then up on the right thumbstick first. That's when you can find the rumble point with the left thumbstick.



Once the screen is shaking like it's experiencing an earthquake, just hold that frequency until the wall is destroyed. A gif of this would just be a lot of shaking and be really fucking huge. If you really want to recreate the effect, just shake your monitor like a carton of orange juice.

It's worth pointing out that there are only a small handful of Nagasaki barriers in the game, like maybe 5 or 6? There's only two that aren't in the final dungeon, with this being one of them.



That's 6 enemies. Fuck that.



Yeah, there's no way I'm fighting this battle. Sure I could wreck a lot of face with Pyre Ball or Dragon's Breath, but I just don't want to.





So I'm not.









Believe it or not, but that encounter is the last thing we had to fight in Canada. Defying all conventional RPG logic, the only boss fight in Canada was the Bishop of Banff halfway through.



The last piece of the Barbarian armor is right here. It's really a pity we complete the set so late, because we have almost no time to appreciate it before we get another direct upgrade.



We do look pretty boss, I have to admit.



Alright Mr. Minister, you're free!

: Oui oui oui! Cela est mauvais! Allo? Au secours! Yes yes yes! This is bad. Hello? Help!
: (when you fart) Un toot de joyeux. A cheerful toot

Video:

Script translation supplied by Google Translate.

: JE SUIS LIBRE! JE SUIS LIBRE! I'm free! I'm free



: Oh, ne vous besoin de quelque chose traduit? Oh, do you need something translated?



: Ok, cela se traduit par cela... cela se traduit par cela... OK, this means that... this means that...



: Voila! Bon Jour! Merci beaucoup! Here is(sic)! Hello! Thank you very much.



He seemed nice. I think. He was at least nice enough to translate our note. Now we can finally get back to the girls. Oh, and the Minister of Montreal and the Princess of Canada both add us as Facebook friends.



: You are a true hero of Canada!





: Had enough of Canada, eh? Can't say I blame you.

Bye Canada!



And hello South Park. Now, we could go straight back to Annie, but we have some news to report to Jimbo.





: Aw, I hate spiders. Sure hope you blasted the heck out of it!
: Man, you showed that bacteria what a real hunter looks like!

: You're probably the best hunter this town has ever seen! Right up there with me and Ned in our prime! Right, Ned?
: Straight up.



We've finished the very last sidequest in the game! Jimbo and Ned both add us as Facebook friends, and we also get Jimbo's key.

: Got another hunting trip coming up in a few weeks and you're welcome to come along. Ask your folks. It'll be fun! Live grenades.
_{Ned likes this.}



I also remember to buy one of the perks now. A free 2PP for using any food item is pretty good... I guess. Look, we've taken all the good ones and all that's left are stuff that is of dubious use.



Anyway, over in the right side of Jimbo's shop is an alien teleporter beacon. We could have come up here a long time ago, but this chest is locked.



The White Whale patch increases damage by 20% when in critical health. The real rewards for Jimbo's sidequest, however, are the weapons. The grenade applies Slow on and around the target, and the axe is just metal as hell.





Innate Vampirism is pretty nice.



I also want to point out that we can use this katana now. It's a pretty boring weapon, though. All it has is damage and the ability to destroy armor. Yay? The metal as hell axe we're using heals us when we attack a bleeding target!



Alright, I guess we can't put it off anymore. Time to talk to Annie.

Video:

: Ready to go back?
: The girls are ready to see you.





: See? Right here it says that five women were at the clinic that day.
: And right there it says Nancy Turner 3:30 pm!
: That's HEIDI'S mom! So HEIDI TURNER was the two-faced bitch!
: The evidence is irrefutable. Thanks, New Kid. We now know it was Heidi Turner all along who was spreading the rumors.



: Freakin whore!



: Two-faced butt rag!



: Fuck Heidi Turner in her fucking two-faced ass!
: But Heidi is really sorry, so we're deciding to forgive her.



: I love you guys so much!



: We love you too Heidi!
ALL: YAY!/YAY HEIDI!/Etc.
: You've served the girls well, New Kid, and so you have our services. Tell the boys we will play their game. (bangs gavel) Sparkle!
ALL: SUNSHINE!



Little girls are terrifying, y'all. Anyway, Wendy, Bebe, and Red all add us as Facebook friends after the cutscene. We can also get Jessie, Nelly, Allie Nelson, and Heidi Turner by talking to them in the room.

: I bet you're thinking about something totally deep right now. (JESSIE friends you)
: You didn't hear it from me, but Millie said that Bebe said that Allie said that Monica knows someone who has a crush on you.

: We should be friends so you can like my posts! (NELLY friends you)
: I just posted the hottest picture of me.

: You're really different from the other boys. Like, you aren't even gross!

: I learned that betrayal can actually make your friendships stronger, and it's all thanks to you! (HEIDI friends you)
: You should totally stay as a girl. It's so much better!

: You're totally... hot!

: The girls will be ready to help you whenever you need us.

: Thank you SO MUCH for clearing my name. Now when girls all me a whore it's more in a joking way.

: Heidi's having a slumber party-- oops! I almost forgot you're not a girl!

: Sleepover at Bebe's house next weekend! If you can see this post, you're invited! Don't tell anyone else about this post.
_{Bebe and Red like this.}





There's a Chinpokomon hiding over here on the left, next to Jessie.



We can also find the Valkyrie armor. It's a direct upgrade to the Barbarian armor. I'll show it off in a moment because it's... special.



: As an honorary girl, you have been granted full access to our adorable supplies. Wanna do a little shopping? (SHOP opens)





If I had been paying closer attention to the effects, I would have grabbed this blade while recording this. This thing straight up bypasses all armor and shields on the target. That is as handy as it sounds!





I grab both of these ranged weapons. The bow is pretty straightforward and is as powerful as it sounds with bleed effects. It also completely shreds shields, further making those patches completely useless.

The chakram is also really strong, and will be useful as hell in an upcoming boss fight where I completely forget to equip it.



There's a huge list of armor, three sets worth. The Valkyrie set is better than these for the build we're using.



The girls are also selling this patch. It's okay.



So, the chakram is gonna be what we're using for the next bit of gameplay. It's dealing 500 physical and 100 gross damage on each hit it lands, and also naturally adds bleeding. Now for the Valkyrie armor...







It's a chainmail bikini. However look at those effects. The surges are from the patches I applied, but everything else is part of the armor bonuses. This set lets you kick ass, and when you kill something you kick ass even harder.



Oh hey, because we're an honorary girl we now have free passage in and out of their secret clubhouse. Let's see just where it is.



MOTHERFUCKER. GOD DAMN IT.

I'm mad now. Anyway, now is the moment of truth.



28/30 Chinpokomon means that we haven't missed any so far! Furthermore, we can also get #29 right now. Let's go do that.



If you think really hard, you may remember a completely unremarkable area we briefly visited. There were some objects hidden behind a rock we couldn't destroy because it had a green crack.



So let's pay it a visit.



I wouldn't blame you if you don't remember this is here. You can actually see the second-to-last Chinpokomon peeking out from behind the background.



One Nagasaki fart later...



And if we talk to the crab person...

: Human, your anus pulverized the rock that was the inter-dimensional gateway between our worlds. Now that it's destroyed, Crab People can conquer humanity and it's all thanks to you! Thank you friend!
: Hello friend to the Crab People and betrayer of Humans. Your anal heroics will never be forgotten.



We're now Facebook friends with the Crab People drummer.

: I keep having the same dream. I'm sitting in a hot tub, and it keeps getting a little warmer. Then I wake up covered in carapace secretions.





This costume is in the chest next to the crab person. It actually has more armor than the Valkyrie armor, but has almost no bonuses. One bonus gives you a small PP regeneration when indoors, and the other is a mild thorns effect. The Valkyrie armor is better in every way.



Well then. Time to report back to the boys.

Oh right, I wanted to say something. This is the hard point of no return for the game. When we return to Kyle with our success, we will be locked into the endgame sequence. So this is your absolute last chance to loot Jimmy's House or the Taco Bell Construction Site.

So next time guys? We enter the final dungeon. We're nearly done!